Brazen Hussies ~ May Hussiescopes!!!

(November 22- December 21): Whoa MOMMA! or is that whooooa Poppa! WhatEVAH your gender, you are a DRAMA QUEEN or King the beginning of the month. And you'll enjoy ~~ admit it ~~ every minuto. When there's this planetary slap dab thingy on the 17th through the l9th you'll know all eyes are on your dramatic carry-ons and you'll love it. Use it. Work it! But do be kind to the one you dump ~ an affair of the heart or work ~ around May 22nd.

And by the end of the month, you’ll be so used to being in charge, you'll think you can boss EVERYBODY around. Uh, darling... put a lid on it for a while, especially before you hit June. Or by early summer, your drama could turn into a, well, if not tragedy... a tedious cha-cha-changes charade. If one word sums up your romantic life this month, it’s the F word. Not THAT F word. The one that rhymes with fickle.. which is what anyone who falls for your dramatic shenanigans will be in ~ a pickle ~ since you are so doggone fickle. But what fun you'll have with all the F Words from the last of May until July (where, at a very grown-up soiree, you could drop your mask in more ways than one and find you are most interested in the L for l-u-v- word..)

“What is the student but a lover courting a fickle mistress who ever eludes his grasp?” ~~ William Osler

(December 22-January 19): For the first part of the month, think retro. We are... sigh... not talking about rolling up the sides of your hair into a l940s 'do or doing your living room in all white a la Dietrich (Madonna, too, come to think of it...) We are talking "retrograde", which is what some planetary stuff is doing to you... Say WHAAAT? Say, well you'll find those lovers you thought were OUTTA here are baaaack... maybe not as lovers but you'll run into them at the grocery story, the Casbah, wherever. Be prepared. And if you want to rekindle some sparks, be prepared for that, too.

Anyhoo, by the third week in May, you'll find out what you were soooooo sure you wanted isn't what you wanted at all ~ even though it was finally handed to you on the proverbial silver platter. And someone you thought you'd fooled? Ha! Wait until the end of the month. In fact, DON'T wait until then ~ mend those fences and don't wait to get caught. Go watch "The Letter" and you'll feel better realizing the soap opera you call your life could have gotten much, much worse. Before June rolls around, you could have a new job ~ maybe a new abode... in view?

"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice.

It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved."

~~ William Jennings Bryan

(January 20-February 18): Saturn is telling you a couple of things this month and if you need a way to remember what WE are going to tell you, say Saturn real sloooooooow. Like this: Sat and turn. You see, you've sat around too much and your bod isn’t as glowingly fabo as it should be or would be if you'd get off your duff and DO something.... OKOKOKAY, so maybe you didn't just sit there, you also partied too much and partook of this and you shouldn't have. Now, it's your TURN (get it? sat? turn? sheeeesh... maybe you need some ginko or something... but we digress) To get your health, your looks, and your bod... all that good stuff, in better shape.

And even a little bit of effort will pay off big time by May 21st. (Oh, you can TOOO quit smoking... if Marlene Dietrich did it cold turkey, so can you.)... By May 19th, at 2:34 p.m. EST to be precise, you'll have all kinds of help with all kinds of things... including picking out stocks and picking up the pieces of a love affair that will fizzle again by summer's end. So DON'T think this flirtation is the Big One. Uh.. how do we put this... remember back up there when we were talking about health and stuff? DARLING, watch out for anything from May 10th to the first week in June that's "too too" as in, too much booze, too too much, ah-hem, experimentation with anything potentially dangerous (including that hunka hunka gorgeous hunk you meet in that out-of-the-way antiques shop or garage sale around the 17th.)

(February 19-March 20): No pie in the sky for YOU Pisces darlings this month. You may have your elegant heads in the clouds but those feet (stiletto clad as they may be on many of you) are planted firmly in old terra firma this month. Say whaaaaat? Say you are not your usual dreamy eyed self, you are practical, you are shrewd (we did NOT say "shrew" although you will be a tad testy on the 13th through the l7th so be forewarned and go rent that Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton's classic The Taming of the Shrew!).

And this should help you EVAH so much with a job discussion (we see the possibility of more mula within a few months) or decided just who actually deserves your attention on the 23rd and 25th. Anything green will be attractive to you this month ~ money, notch, a divine acid green accessory someone's devilish green eyes, perchance? On the 29th a family matter could give you a headache but alls well that ends well ~ or at least ends better than you initially think... because it will (and remember, there are several ways to define the word "will"... we'll just leave you with that little muy mysterioso comment, sweeties..)

Our crystal ball has clouded over and, besides, it is time for our afternoon champagne break. But we'll be back next month for ~ you guessed it ~ your June Hussiescopes. So stayed tuned, stay your star studded fabulous selves, and stay brazen!