(March 21-April 19): If you let the universe know what you are dreaming, boy (or girl, whatEVAH) are YOU going to be surprised this month! Because whatever you put out (not that kind of put out, unless that's what you want to do... we aren't telling!) is coming right back at you. Say WHAAAAT? Say you started the month Thinking "not THIS again"... and right when you thought this that and the other things couldn't get worse, it did BUT (and this is a big BUT... oh, stop it, we didn't say "BIG BUTT", you vain thang) like a boomerang, all those things, people and career goals you dream about seem suddenly attainable! You see, darling, Mars is busy, busy on your side, sort of fighting the astro-illogical elements for you ~ also fairly screaming: "GET SOME RED INTO YOUR LIFE!" as in hair color, new imported hand-made rug from Nepal, whatever... you'll be feeling terribly outgoing by May 27th and there is something going on about uncovering rubies. At an estate sale. The third weekend. Really.

Your brazen quote of the month:

“If sex is a pain in the butt, you're doing it wrong.” ~~ Annonymous

(April 20-May20): Heaven help you, Taurus sweeties... Your 'scope looks like a French drawing room comedy ~ all those doors opening and one lover in, then out, another coming in, you hide that one over there and... Sheesh! You can't get rid of them. Explanation: Venus, Mars AND Mercury are doing this vibrational thingy (that's as technical as we are getting for free, darlings). So either go with the proverbial flow, or decide whom you want ~ from your pick of all these past loves who keep coming back over and OVAH, more as pests that pets. You'll feel positively weary from it all until May 23rd, and then a brand spanking (GASP! Are you INTO that? Who knew?) new relationship is on the horizon. Speaking of your horizon, anything to do with your mula making ability ~ job? inheritance? ~ will be getting lots of attention all summer, starting around the second week of May. And... sigh... yep, it's the retro thingy again... your greatest success will be in going BACK, or re-connecting with some source of money you left behind. You'll know what we mean by May 30th, 10 a.m.Uh-huh. (But one warning... something you do or say on May 19th could get you in professional trouble so, sweeties, be brazen ~ but be smart about whom you say those pithy remarks to, n'est ce pas?)

Your brazen quote of the month:

"I can wear a hat or take it off, but either way it's a conversation piece." ~~ Hedda Hopper

(May 21-June 21): All your worry about mula isn't for naught. Naught? Where did THAT word come from... sheesh... anyhoo, you'll worry, plan, to buy or not to buy, to transfer funds or not... yadda yadda... and those decisions will be RIGHT, at least before May 16th... We'd be more specific but it could blow your brain cells ~ but the non-technical explanation is that your ruling planet is pushing you in the right way as it zips through the astro-illogical heavens... Watch out for that Sagittarius on the 21st... Sagittarius rhymes with "marry us" by the by... DON'T do anything related to matrimony in a rash way ~ or you could break out in a rash before June starts! Besides, you've got all those travel possibilities popping up until early September... But we digress again. Watch for new deals having to do with communications to hit around the middle of May ~ could be anything from a new cell phone to finally selling that screenplay! You'll feel most powerful (BEST times for trying new 'dos and new positions ~ we are talking JOBS, darling... well, those positions, too, whatevah) on May 22nd and one more time (which you could be saying, should you try those new positions) on May 30th... at 9:47 p.m. EST to be exact (because we are SOOOOO good... sigh... )

Your brazen quote of the month:

"Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping." ~~ Bo Derek

(June 22-July 22): Forget all that crappoloa aggravation in the beginning of this month... just concentrate on what's coming by late June. Here's a hint: Pepe LePew. No, a skunk isn't entering your love but a romantic soul who won't STOP until you have at least a fabulously sensual rendezvous in the spring... and, come to think of it, Paris could be on the agenda... So that break-up in mid-May (we're not sure if it's a manicure thang or a love thang... but something is breaking here and it's not an appliance) isn't a tragedy.. just a reason to move on to what's coming. You'll get a big hint on May 13th and again on May 19th... so hang in there, cutie! And, did we mention Paris? We believe we did! And let's throw in Milan, Bangkok and Timbuktu. Also Naples, Florida, which is simply divine... Say WHAAAAT? Say international goings-on. It's right there in your chart... and Hedy Lamarr was just coming in (we channel the REAL stars you know) and she says you will be on a lucky roll by the last week of May... Could even be a jackpot (we'd play for real in Monte Carlo if we were you!) or could have to do with scoring some good rock 'n' roll concert tickets... or a roll in the hay?

Your brazen quote of the month:

"I enjoy countless hundreds pursuing me. I love those who love me the most. I am sort of flattered by men showing attention to me." ~~ Hedy Lamarr