Brazen Hussies ~ Gays

HOT TOOTSIES!!!

Feet are hot, hot, hot! Especially in the dog days of summer when the temperatures soar to over 100 degrees here in the Big Apple. In steamy times you begin to understand why all those foot powders and products have been produced. These are not good times for your sexy feet. Nothing can turn a person off faster than a pair of... well... stinky pinkies... So all you brazen hussies and huss~hes are advised to check out your footsies before you even think about about some amorous interlude. (For those of you who are more OUTRE in your tastes and enjoy a stinky foot as part of your masochistic love ritual, we suggest that you do nothing and encourage the object of your affections to wear the same pair of socks and sneakers for at least two days to help ferment the aromatic qualities necessary to stimulate erotic desires... and ferment is the operative word here. Excuse us, we are trying to be open mindedly brazen about this but, we must add ~~~ EEEEEEEEE! Or, perchance, let's make that PEEEEEEUUUUUWWW! But we digress...)

Feet offer so many possibilities for erotic fantasies. There is nothing more exciting than the act of putting on and taking off those delicious silk stockings. Marlene Dietrich, a true icon goddess of Brazen Hussiedom, knew the power of seams. Remember that scene in the "Blue Angel" when she distractedly allowed the Professor to assist her while putting on a pair of sexy, steamy stockings. For us Freudian Hussies, this image is enough to make us go out and buy a dozen pair of seamed black silk stockings just to get a quick feel

Let us free associate ~ what does putting your foot in a silk stocking remind you of? Condomania!!! For women. FYI: In this time of safe sex, what could be safer than the erotic act of helping your lover slip into a pair of stockings. They come in different sizes and colors with every imaginable attachment designed to satisfy even the most exacting of tastes.

A garter belt adds a new SPICE to the rack when the cooking you are doing is in the boudoir, if you get our drift, and we are sure you do... We are happy to see the come back of this delectable item. It's snap~to~it~ness is a sensual reminder of the pleasures of holding up ~~~ and the relief of letting go. These items come in lace, silk, and, for the budget and health minded, natural cotton (it breathes).

What does this have to do with SHOES? Cool down your ardor! We're getting to that ~ you'll just have to wait. And you KNOW that's part of the fun of LOTS of delicious things.... Anyhoo, this is the build up ~ so relax and enjoy the anticipation.

As you can guess, in and out, concealing and revealing are the essentials to the ultimate foot climax. But we are not there yet. There are so many possibilities when you have ten toes, an arch, a sole and a heel. The range of exquisite sensations available to you with each is infinite. Remember the great sculptor Rodin (he of the Kiss, the Caress) fell head over heels for Camille Claudel after she sculpted the perfect foot. (She of course went crazy from all that perfection and ended up in an asylum for the rest of her life. But at least she had achieved the sublime erotic moment!)

FYI: Freud could barely contain himself when he pondered the great Pompeiian sculptural mystery of Gradivas. This foot could be the cause of Vesuvius's eruption. Talk about dancing around the volcano ~ Freud's passions were ignited by this Roman matron's glorious toes. We can thank Gradivas for inspiring Sigmund to probe the mysteries of sex. Needless to say, his experiments with cocaine and its relationship to nose size had something to do with the passions kindled during his meditations on Gradivas. Again let those free associations flow ~~ something, we, obviously, are brazen experts at!

Remember that ancient street wisdom about shoe size and the Male Organ. Sigmund made the greatest scientific discovery that absolutely has transformed our ideas about noses, feet and phalluses. He posited a connection between the size of one's nose and one's penis. We must point out the phallacy... uh, fallacy.. whatever... Our extensive research reveals that there is indeed a correlation, but it is between nose, feet and vagina! Once again Sigmund was looking for the wrong things in the wrong places. He did not understand just how far anatomy is destiny! (And, of course, it took a WOMAN (his daughter) to clue him in that sometimes not only is a foot simply a foot but a banana is just a banana....)

Those TRULY skilled in the art of brazen hussy~ness, such as one of our fave so~good~at~being~bad icons, Mamie Van Doren (left) know, by the way, that exposing an adorable footsie can give you as much flirt mileage as exposing cleavage... of course, toes actually have their OWN sort of cleavage, come to think of it....

As we write, we realize that this exploration of feet and shoes requires volumes. So in this installment we will focus our attentions solely to the part where the foot enters the shoe. We cannot take it all the way. There simply isn't enough time or space for a topic of this size but we promise another installment soon. (How soon???... oh, let us tease you as you think about it, wait for it, desire it.. That IS part of the fun, n'est-ce pas?)

But now on to toe nails. Their are good and bad toe nails, much like the split between good and bad girls (and boys). As hussies and huss~hes we presume that all of you are GOOD at being bad , the good kind of bad ~~ natch, and you adore painted toe nails! Consequently you can be found lurking around sales counters seeking new thrills in new colors. You shameless painted (and proud of it!) hussies!

There is nothing more exciting than assisting someone in removing their carefully crafted stiletto, high laced boot, Gucci loafers, or soft leather pumps. The anticipation of catching a glimpse of the still veiled, gloriously mysterious foot is enough to make some foot lovers faint. We suggest that you pump this moment for all its worth! Make sure that you have on hand ample supplies of oxygen (and new underwear).

The key to shoe eroticism lies in the tease. You must never, never, never, darlings, fully remove the foot from the shoe. This is an absolute NO NO! You will destroy the effect! You want to prolong the thrust of your passions... thrusting, passion.. uh-oh.. We are completely spent from writing this.

We must take a breather to regain our vigor! We promise to return next week to discuss shoe fetishism. We desperately need to take a cold shower and give ourselves a pedicure. Footloose in New York ~~ Irene and Sandy, Private EyeNoir Arts Ltd.